I am a Princess - Daily Devotional for Women by Anna Szabo of Online Discipleship for Women

Did you know that if you accepted Jesus as your Lord and savior you are a Princess? Think about it: God is the King of the Universe and you are His daughter, so you are a royal Princess! I first realized this in 2014 when I jumped out of a plane and was falling.

As I was falling down, fighting the air in my face, I remember looking at the earth, people, homes, landscaping, flowers, and the entire God’s majestic creation of breathtaking beauty…

My entire life appeared as a snapshot right before my eyes, and I realized: I am a Princess!

I am a Princess #52Devotionals Devotions for Women by Anna Szabo

A few months after that experience in the sky, I got baptized at Buckhead Church in front of 3000 people and declared my faith and identity to the entire congregation! Here’s my baptism video.

Introduction

On this Christian blog, I have over 1,000,000 words of content. I wrote about many important topics, such as God, faith, who Jesus is, why God allows adversity, how to trust Him, how to pray, and even how to hear God’s voice. Yet, the most important content is this devotional. Why?

You see, knowing who I am in Christ changed everything for me. How? It changed me. When I changed, everything changed: my character, my lifestyle, my habits, my health, and my relationships.

I have a new life because I have a new identity.

The most important thing I learned about myself is that I am a Princess. Based on this simple yet life-altering truth, I created Christian poetry collection, a collection of Christian apparel for women, and even this Christian ministry.

Here’s my story…

How My Identity Developed

I was very confused about my identity for decades. Not only did I not know who I was, I actually had no clue whose I was! My mother hated and rejected me. My father was in jail and didn’t want me. My grandma avoided being seen with me because I was fatherless and shameful. My other grandma even pretended on the streets not to see me. My grandpa was the only person who loved me but he was mostly always either drunk or asleep.

Because of this identity confusion, I sought acceptance and approval from others, which led me to bad decisions. I was drinking heavily, sleeping around with a ton of men, spent my nights clubbing, and was even locked up in jail once for attacking a security guard at a hospital.

My poor decision-making resulted in many mistakes. It all started in my early childhood, and the source of my identity confusion was my mother who struggled with mental health issues and hated me wholeheartedly, never keeping it a secret.

Childhood

Growing up, I experienced a lot of hatred and rejection from my mother. She was evil, angry, violent, and manipulative. In my article “Things Narcissistic Mothers Say,” I provide several categories of identity attacks, which I endured from her.

If you want to know the truth, the details of everything related to this topic are described in my essay called “Identity Attacks by Narcissistic Mothers.” She told me that I was a miscarriage, that she went to abort me, that she didn’t want me, that I was not hers but was exchanged in a hospital, that I did not belong with her and her family and was a gypsy, that I was worthless, useless, ugly, stupid, and that she wanted me dead.

What my mother taught me was my identity.

I felt rejected, confused, abandoned, and very lonely. That was the reason why I attempted suicide twice at 11 and 12, which I explain in the blog post called “My Testimony.” At 12, I realized that there was some kind of God. There must have been God, otherwise, why was I suffering yet continuing to live? Though we were not Christians and didn’t know God, from that point on, I felt God.

So, I poured myself into education.

Adolescence

There was much I inherited from my family: anger, alcoholism, adultery, and addictions. We all lived together: my mom, her sisters, their daughters, my grandma, and grandpa.

Only one of the sisters had a husband, yet all sisters slept around with other women’s husbands and brought them home. Adultery was not a secret. It was our lifestyle. The family made and sold alcohol, and violent fights were the norm of our home life.

Of course, I also drank, smoked, slept around, and was very angry. I shared my Sex Addiction story on this blog. That lifestyle was both my nature (what I inherited from my family’s genes) and nurture (what I saw in my environment growing up).

But I did have hope and pursued my dreams.

My other life was at school. I loved school, I loved learning, I saw learning as progress, and I believed that education was my ticket out of the misery of my family.

I wanted to be different, I dreamed of a better life, I believed that there was more to life than just what I knew and saw at home: misery, poverty, dirtiness, ugliness, sexual immorality, drunkenness, abuse, and violence.

School was everything to me! It was the only place where I was a somebody because at home I was a nobody. I was a straight-A student and graduated with high honors from high school, college, and two universities in Russia. I then also got my MBA at Georgia State University in America, graduating with a 3.74 GPA after teaching myself English!

Achievement was my identity.

I believed that who I was was determined by my accomplishments. I almost saw myself through the magnifying glass of my achievements, which were many. My intellect became my identity.

But my mother’s influence also reigned, and I was eager to become a mother and a wife, which she demanded of me. So, I married an American Prince Charming and left Russia forever. However, my mother followed… Not physically, no, but the key to my identity liberation was definitely in her pocket. The hustle continued for almost a decade!

Marriage to Prince Charming

He was 28 years older than me. We met online. He told me I was his first wife and that he had no children. He showered me with roses, diamonds, and exotic international travel. According to everything my mother taught me, I won a jackpot, because those were the things that mattered, based on her teachings. Vanity lured me into the golden cage.

As soon as I came to America, Prince Charming enslaved me, never filed for my immigration documents, so I had no SSN, no driver’s license, not even a cellphone. He owned me completely and treated me very poorly. Prince Charming beat the life out of me, and I stayed.

Why?

My identity was “a mother and a wife,” which my mom manipulated me to believe. Also, she taught me from a very young age that if a man beats you, it means he loves you. I explain my story in great detail in a blog post called “Domestic Violence.”

My identity was that of a slave in captivity. Of course, Prince Charming turned into The Prince of Darkness: he had a daughter my age, and I was his fourth five. He abused all of his previous wives, and they all escaped from him. He beat me regularly, then showered me with flowers and begged me on his knees to forgive him, then he’d repeat the same cycle again and again. I was trapped. I felt so lonely and desperate for help.

After four police reports, the Dunwoody Police Department conducted a rescue operation and liberated me from The Prince of Darkness. The officers set me free, and I was taken to a shelter for victims of domestic violence in Stone Mountain, GA. It was called the International Women’s House. I became homeless, hopeless, and helpless, in a foreign country, without any documents, and without speaking any English.

My identity of a high achiever helped me teach myself the language by listening to Frank Sinatra, and I passed the Academic English Test with a high score, which opened the door to an MBA at GSU.

My desire to be a mother and a wife, embedded deep in the subconscious by my mom from the early years, led me to marry again. This time, it was a doctor.

He was 26 years older than me and had two young sons. So, I was instantly a mother and a wife and felt that finally I could be who I was created to be… Interestingly, the doctor lived with his mother, just like my mother. Today, my mom is 65, and she still lives with her 92-year-old mother. She never ever launched. The doctor was also a fail-to-launch, but to me, that was normal, because I had a house full of failed-to-launch adult relatives growing up, and it was all I knew, pretty much.

Marriage to Peter Pan

I moved the doctor out of his mother’s place, and set up our own home. So, here I was: a nanny to two little boys and one big boy. He didn’t know how to cook, clean, do laundry, or raise kids. He had no budgeting skills, no understanding of what marriage takes, and no ability to bond with me because he was mentally literally married to his mother.

The doctor was a Peter Pan, and I was a Wendy who was trying to rescue him. This was a painful realization but very much in alignment with the teachings of my mother, who always said: “A smart woman will pick a bum and make him Prince Charming.” The old doctor was a little boy…

I realized that I was trying to fix the doctor to get approval from my mother by turning Peter Pan into Prince Charming. It never worked. The doctor’s old mother was possessive and aggressive, and she demanded him back. She managed his money, he gave her his paycheck, and she’d show up uninvited any time, even asking to wash our laundry.

My identity was a rescuer of lost boys

Why? Because my mother taught me so, it was deep, hidden in the dark dungeon of my subconscious mind. I was literally a nanny.

Peter Pan’s little sons saw him as a peer and not as a father figure. They had no respect for him whatsoever. Grandma owned them and demanded full authority over the little boys. Peter Pan was not a leader of the family. He was helpless and unskilled at being an independent adult man. I was married to a child whose mom owned his life!

His authority or leadership with those kids was below zero. I was not waking up to the truth quickly. No, I was in denial for a while. But the doctor was in a continuous custody battle with his ex-wife, so a psychiatrist was appointed by the judge to the two boys and our entire family.

The physiatrist opened up my eyes.

And so did the Guardian ad Litem…

Every moment they could, Peter Pan and the two boys watched “Captain Hook,” and everything came to the end one day as I realized that I was a Wendy and he was a little boy Peter Pan in a neverland.

I got tired of being a nanny to the three boys, one of whom was over 50 years old. I got tired of being the third person in the marriage of Peter Pan and his obsessively-controlling mother. One Christmas, I left and never returned. This was after I tried counseling, many times.

I was done.

Several months later, I had an encounter with Jesus.

Marriage to the Narcissist

After that, I became a Christian, did 600 days of no-dating, spent 365 days of holidays alone to figure myself out, and became content with being celibate and single forever.

Yet, there was Satan lurking around looking to devour me, and he did. I described it in detail in my essay called “How Satan Came at Me Looking Saint.” A wonderful Christian man, who worked at the mega-church I attended, began courting me for marriage…

We went through pre-engagement counseling, premarital counseling, group counseling, and one-on-one counseling. We took many assessments, and he even met my mentor. He lied in counseling and on each assessment. His premeditated deception was very clever and eloquent. But I was clueless. He presented himself to be a man after God’s heart, truly Christ-like man. Here’s our wedding video.

He filed for divorce four months after our wedding. He told me that he wasn’t interested in me anymore and wanted to be an IronMan instead. I described the details in my essay called “IronMan vs Marriage.” He told me he did not need me, that I added no value to his life, that his bicycle was his actual wife, and that he cheated on me. He was cruel.

The narcissistic relationship abuse I endured from him was well-thought-through, eloquent, manipulative, and very well masked. He also threatened me multiple times, yet, I stayed.

Why? I saw myself as one with Michel.

I was committed to him and our marriage.

I viewed myself as Michel’s wife instead of a child of God, and that confusion drove me to suicidal depression. I felt disoriented, devastated, devalued, and discarded. At that point, I was 33 years old and had struggled with too much already, so I was ready to throw in the towel. But God always uses what He hates to accomplish what He loves. And He performed a miracle… Mine is a story for His divine glory.

Online Discipleship For Women

God drew me close, revealed to me who I am in Christ, healed me, placed the burning desire into my heart to encourage and empower hurting women, and He gave me this Christian ministry: Online Discipleship For Women was born.

Through my identity struggles, God equipped and prepared me to serve women struggling with identity. It was sort of school. God revealed Himself to me and showed me how I can comfort other with the comfort I received from Him. God set my heart of fire!

My Christian podcast for women was born.

After my divorce with the narcissist, I committed my life to helping alleviate suicide among women globally by sharing hope in Chrst.

I wrote and published a free ebook with Biblical Affirmations that help renew your mind daily and entice you to embrace what God says about you. As of today, my ministry reached hundreds of thousands of women worldwide, and I am in awe witnessing how God makes beauty out of ashes.

To support my ministry, donate now.

“Whoever Brings Blessing Will be Enriched” Proverbs 11:25

Bless Online Discipleship For Women

After my divorce with the narcissist, I kept his last name and even made it my car tag just to remind me daily that my identity doesn’t come from my mother, from me, from education, or any accomplishments whatsoever.

What determines my identity is my faith in Christ.

Before I married the narcissist, I was Anna Stevens. Becoming Anna Szabo and being abandoned, rejected, abused, manipulated, and traded in for an IronMan bicycle by the narc, I felt a lot of resentment toward my last name (his last name). I even remember hiding my name badge at work because I was ashamed to be his wife. Today, I say without hiding “Hi, I am Anna Szabo!” and shake a person’s hand with confidence.

Szabo doesn’t define who I am. Jesus does!

I am a Princess…

Being a Princess

It was July of 2014. I just jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. I was in a tandem with a Chattanooga Skydiving Company instructor. So, here we were, flying in the air, looking down the earth… 

And out of the blue, a thought started dominating my mind: “I am a Princess! I am a Princess! God is the King! I am a Princess! I’m loved and accepted! My life has a purpose!

I am Light - Daily Devotional for Women by Anna Szabo of Online Discipleship for Women

“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.”

Galatians 3:26

After that skydiving experience and my identity breakthrough, I got baptized in front of 3,000 people at Buckhead Church on October 19th, 2014. In my baptism video, I announced to the world that now I knew the truth: I am a Princess. It’s been years of walking with God, and He taught me a lot. It’s been a process of change, a journey, not an event.

Being Sanctified and Redeemed

Interestingly enough, I was only able to accept the fact that I am a Princess after accepting the fact that I was sanctified and redeemed. Sanctified means set apart for God’s special purpose. Redeemed means that a high price was paid in full by Jesus for God to have me for Himself. 

… who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood.

1 Peter 1:2

The blood of Jesus was the price God paid to have me. He purchased me for a high price of Christ’s life so that I could be His and not the world’s. 

When I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior, I was justified in Christ. No more debt owed, no sins remembered. I was redeemed from slavery to sin and set apart for God’s purpose, aka sanctified. Sanctification is also a process of becoming Christ-like. This will be covered in detail in our other devotionals: Justification Sanctification Glorification.

Today, we’re talking about being sanctified as an event of being set apart by God for His special purpose

Being Loved and Accepted

I remember being rejected by my mom for not meeting her expectations of having my teeth perfect, having my butt round and firm enough like my cousin’s butt, having my boobs big like my other cousin’s boobs, having crafty skills like my mom’s friend’s daughter had, and on and on it went. I explained this in the articles called “Daughter of Narcissistic Mothers” and “Narcissistic Mother-Daughter Relationship

My mother would invite her sisters and my grandma in a circle. Place me inside that circle. And she’d start trapping me in the comparison-to-others trap. From my boobs and butt to my laughter and eyebrows, everything was wrong with me. She did not approve of my looks, my smile, my teeth, my laughter, or my character. I didn’t measure up to her expectations of beauty and worthiness. My mom never loved me and she never accepted me. 

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:7

Wow! Wait! What?! Christ accepts me?

It was a breakthrough for me. 

Christ accepts me just the way I am. What a relief! I don’t have to change my laughter, my boobs, my butt, my teeth, or my eyebrows!

Jesus accepts me already!

Whew! 

But what about love?

Am I loved? I wanted to know…

My mother told me regularly: “I hate you and I just want you dead.” She manipulated me into suicide and was laughing and bullying me when my suicide attempt did not work. I was always so desperate for love… And then, I found out that God loves me not only unconditionally but also forever, aka for eternity. 

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.

Psalm 136:26

Wow! God loves me with unconditional love for eternity. How amazing! How relieving! 

I am loved!

Yaay! 

To remember these fundamental truths about myself, I designed canvas with this Biblical affirmation on it and placed it on the walls of my home. It helps me stay focused on who I really am and not be affected by the things that are ought to bring me down. And I created a collection of Christian apparel for women called “I am a Princess.”

I know the truth.

I wear it daily, confidently, and gladly.

I am a Princess who is loved and accepted by God!

Living in a Fallen World

I realized in 2017, during my divorce with the narcissist, especially as I put together a list of narcissistic abuse examples for the court hearing, that my identity in Christ is the most important and solid thing I have.

The world is fallen and broken.

Bad things happen to us all the time. People mistreat and betray us often. Our hearts get broken unfairly. Sometimes life rocks and sometimes it sucks! But our identity always remains. It’s not rooted in worldly things. It’s rooted in God’s eternal love. It’s forever. It’s stable and enduring. It’s a solid ground to stand on every day, no matter what. Having realized this truth, I wrote a poem called “I Am Your Princess

"I Am Your Princess" #PoemsFromGod

My heart is broken,
My soul is aching,
But I have hope,
Because you are still reigning.

Your mercy gifts forgiveness.
Your grace gifts blessings.
We don't deserve your goodness:
Our lives are always messy.

But you don't rate performance - 
Our heart is one that matters.
So when we fail all over,
You raise us from the deadness.

Your strength is sufficient.
Your love is enough.
I am your daughter -
A perfect princess in the fallen world.


3/6/17 © Anna Szabo, JD, MBA
Christian Poems by Anna Szabo #PoemsFromGod I am a princess framed poetry for Prayer Hallway

Those were the things I realized about myself. The poem above was my first-ever poem. Today, I have a collection of over 100 Poems from God. This breakthrough changed my life. It altered my habits, lifestyle, and even health, including the way I eat, sleep, exercise, recharge, build my relationships, and prioritize my self-care.

Everything changed for me because I changed.

My mother doesn’t define who I am, no narcissist defines who I am, last names don’t define my identity. Who I am is defined by God and is determined by my faith in Christ. Today, I live a peaceful and joyful life.

I know who I am and whose I am!

Here are some frequently asked questions answered.

What verse is I am the daughter of a king?


“So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.”
Galatians 3:26

… who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood.
1 Peter 1:2

So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.
Galatians 4:7

What does it mean to be the daughter of a king?


Being a daughter of the king who is God means that you are a Princess, a royal heir who inherits God’s kingdom, that you are anointed, and set apart for God’s divine purpose. It means that you belong to God and He called you to be His, not the world’s. It means that you are powerful in Christ and your story in for God’s glory.

Who am I as a child of God?


As a child of God, you are royal, holy, justified, accepted, loved, worthy, valuable, strong, powerful, prudent, wise, and free. Also, you have a new identity, spirit, heart, mind, and life.

What does God say about his children?


God says 52 things about His children. I wrote an article to explain this: Who Does God Say I Am? In there, I grouped everything God says about you into four categories: Fundamentals of God’s Grace, New Identity In Christ, Christ-Like Character Qualities, and Biblical Outlook on Life. Also, I created a free book , which answers your question “What does God say about His children?

Download it now for free

I Am a Princess

My identity has been transformed. I belong to God. What about you? Do you know, understand, and embrace who you are and whose you are? You are God’s precious daughter. God created you in His image. He made you perfect and set you apart for His special purpose. As a child of the King, you are called a Princess. You are a royal heir!

So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Galatians 4:7

You inherited God’s kingdom, and your identity is that of a Princess because you are a child of God. When you accepted Jesus into your heart, His blood redeemed you. He purchased you at a high price to make you His. You are no longer a slave to sin. You are now a slave to Christ’s righteousness. You are loved and accepted!

Do you accept your Princess identity? If so, memorize my Biblical affirmation below and have it right before your eyes everywhere to remind yourself who and whose you truly are! 

"Am a Princess" #52Devotionals

I am a Princess, 
A daughter of the King.
Loved and accepted,
Sanctified and redeemed.

Click to tweet

How do you feel knowing that you’re a Princess, a royalty, a daughter of the King of the whole universe, loved and accepted by God? Let me know in the comments below. If this devotional was helpful, download my book of #52Devotionals now.

Read My Other Devotionals

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